Every Day is a New Opportunity to Do My Best

I really used to beat myself up for not accomplishing certain things, or meeting certain goals. Perhaps even worse than that, I suffered from all kinds of anxiety, worried that something I was trying to do would not work out. It seems to me that a lot of people do this. I guess we all do it. We spend too much time -- which means any time at all -- wishing we had done, or could do, better than our best. By definition, this just is not possible.

There is one thing I know for certain, and that is that all of the worry and anxiety did not do anything to help me accomplish what I wanted to. It all just made me feel bad, which actually made it less likely that I would succeed than if I had been completely clear headed and focused on the task before me. Worrying that I would not do my best, or that my best would not be enough, made it much more likely that this would become my reality.

The fact is, all I can do, every day, is my best. Then I need to accept that I have done it and move forward. Every day is a new opportunity to do my best.

It took me years to reach this simple realization. Then, it took many more years to internalize it, to train my mind to really believe it. Today -- most of the time, anyway -- I think about each day and do my best with it. Either things work out or they do not. If they do not, it does not help anything for me to beat myself up about it; the best thing for me to do is start thinking about tomorrow, and how I can make it as successful as possible -- how I can improve the things that I did not get totally perfect today, or move on to totally new things.

I still struggle with this at times, but the more I think it and remind myself, the easier it gets, and the happier I am.

Happiness Tip - Quit Arguing

There are some people who really love to argue. If you are one of those, there's probably not much I can do for you. Do what works for you and on you go.

What I can tell you is that most people want to be around others who are supportive and easy to be around. If you are those two things, there will be a larger number of people who enjoy your company and want to be around you. In my experience, more people enjoying spending time with you generally leads to a happier life.

In addition to that, here are a few other things to consider.

• Arguing implies an effort to win; questioning implies an effort to learn. I used to love political arguments. I loved to be right. After maybe 30 years of being an often-victorious political arguer (in my mind, at least), it occurred to me that I often felt good about myself, but I was almost never really changing anyone's mind, and I was missing opportunities to learn, understand, and connect. Today, I have an awful lot of friends with whom I disagree on pretty much every major issue of the day; I think this is because a few years ago I decided to focus on learning from them, and made it a rule to never argue (a rule I sometimes break, but mostly not). Today, I am so much happier about my friendships, and I am learning so much more from them.
• For the most part, people hate to be told they are wrong. In the end, there is just no way around that. On the other hand, people mostly like to share what they know and explain their opinions. If you want more people to enjoy the time they spend with you, this might be a good thing to remember.
• Arguing is stressful; nobody ever had a heart attack from asking questions. That's just something to think about.

As you can see, I come from a very particular perspective -- more people like people who are pleasant and supportive;  it is better to have more people who like you in your life; and learning from others is better than getting them to agree with you. Not everyone will agree with this, but for most people, living with these principles will lead to a happier life. That is what I wish for you.