Happiness Question -- What Made You Unhappy a Year Ago?

When I was first starting out in my career, my boss noticed that something was bothering me. He asked what was going on and I told him. I do not even remember what it was, just one of those things that get us unhappy or tense or whatever. One of those ordinary, everyday troubles we all have.

What he said next had a profound effect on the rest of my life.

"I'm going to ask you what I ask my kids when they are upset about something," he said. "What made you unhappy this time, one year ago? You can't remember, can you? In a year from now, you won't be able to remember what is upsetting you today."

I could not remember what had upset me on that day the previous year. He was absolutely right. Of course, there are real problems that bother us that we will remember for a long time, or even the rest of their lives, but most of the difficult days will be forgotten in a week or a month or a year. Most of the things we let upset us or bother us or otherwise rob us of our happiness are just not worth it.

Over the last 20 years or so, I have reminded myself of that conversation many, many times, so many times that it has integrated itself into my being. It became a key feature of the process of training my mind to be happy -- a process that can work for you or for anyone.