Happiness Tip -- Focus on Others in Conversation

In my experience, pretty much everyone's favorite topic is themselves; the more conversation focuses on them and their interests, the happier they are and the more interesting I seem. Also, the more I can get people to talk about themselves. the more I will learn -- after all, I already know all of my stories and opinions.

Now, I do not need people to like me to be happy, but it helps. Isn't it better to be someone people enjoy? Isn't it more fun when people seek your company? In my experience, the happier I can make someone in a conversation, the happier it makes me; also, the more I can get someone to talk, the more I will learn, and the more opportunities I have to learn and improve myself.

Here are some tips for focusing on others in conversation. None of these things will surprise you, but I think an awful lot of people would be surprised if they compare this list to most of their conversations.

1.  Ask lots of questions about the other person.
2.  Learn what interests the other person and focus on those topics.
3.  Share your stories and thoughts, but make sure the other person talks at least 2/3 of the time.
4.  When a person asks you a question, answer it and then turn it right around on them. For example, if someone asks your favorite restaurant, tell them, but you want to get theirs, too. I am shocked at how often people do not do this.
5.  End every story you tell or opinion you express with a question.
6.  View every conversation as a challenge to learn as much as you can about the other person.
7.  Instead of disagreeing, ask questions when some expresses a differing view.Talking to people who disagree with you can be incredible learning opportunities.
8.  In case I did not mention it, ask lots and lots of questions.

Focusing on others in conversation is an opportunity to learn; helps us forget about our own problems; and makes people want to be around us. Doesn't that sound like a path to happiness?

Happiness Strategy -- Just Do Your Best Every Day, and be Satisfied

Here is the truth -- all any of us can do, every day, is our best.

It does not do anybody any good to be unhappy when our best does not feel like enough. All we can do is what we have done, and no amount of feeling good or bad is going to change that.

For years, I would make a long to-do list for the day, diligently work through it, and then beat myself up when I did not finish everything. It literally took the better part of 20 years for me to realize that my best is all I can do, and I need to be happy with that, or at least content. Then, it took another few years for me to really settle into the idea.

For years, I had to actively remind myself that my best is all I could do, so I was going to do it and just move on. Sometimes, I still have to remind myself.

Today, I still make my daily list -- doing my best to put the most important things on top -- and I do what I can do. Sometimes I finish the whole thing, and often I do not. Either way, I remind myself that I did my best in the context of that day, and I move on, ready to do my best the next day.